Yes, I'm still alive, I just haven't had nearly as much time for DA as I used to. Sorry, guys, but that's how it is, though I do plan to post more eventually, I'm still mad they took Arch of Flesh down.

Anyway, get ready for another NSFW entry involving tales of my scrotum. If you don't want to read about my balls, move on.

There's a very special lady named Yasmin in my life. I lost my virginity to her way back in high school when she was my English teacher, and she's still better able to deal with the scale of my endowment better than anyone. She's also a great woman and the closest thing I have to a significant other. I have a tendency to spend half my time in her house, mostly without pants, because she knows I'm more comfortable that way.

I often work on her computer, especially the new one she bought. But see, on this desk, she has this huge bowl of pink pushpins in a precarious location and we've both knocked it over more than once and I keep telling her to move the damn thing. The other day, though, I hit it by mistake and they spilled all over my junk. Fortunately the pins aren't heavy enough for the points to do any damage. However, my sack is so large that the wrinkles actually trapped a bunch of the pins, so I'm there gingerly spreading the folds in the skin picking pushpins out when Yasmin comes in asking wtf is going on. So yeah, add "pushpins lodged in scrotal skin" to the list of random shit that happens to me because of my junk.

She also finally moved the stupid bowl.

Been too busy to get on here as much as I'd like. So, yeah, sorry about that.

I love alien and nonhuman chicks like demonesses. And smell is important to me as far as girls and boys I deign to play with. So I got to wondering what Alternian troll girls smell like. There's a lot of hot troll girls. This is a bizarre, potentially creepy entry coming up, but I was having fun speculating, so here.

This is not racism, but different girls of different ethnic/cultural groups can smell different. It's possible the trolls smell different based on blood type, but that's not the only factor I would imagine. They probably just smell "different", like how dogs and cats have their own unique smells.

I expect Feferi, Condy, and Meenah to smell like the sea, maybe a little fishy, that much is obvious. But Condy's vanity leads me to believe she probably uses exotic perfumes and such. Hopefully not much, but she seems to be pretty over-the-top. She's hot. But I'm turned on by hot women who also have power. Feferi and Meenah are princesses, so that's cool too. I don't really see them using fragrances to the same extent if at all, though. Meenah in particular strikes me as tomboyish. Her and Condy also make way more sense to me when I read them in the voice of a sassy black woman.

Vriska and Latula are both tomboyish. I expect them to smell similar. Except Latula is very active. So she has, potentially, more perspiration in her scent. But I like how athletic girls smell. And I have a weird tendency to get along with bitchy ladies as far as Vriska.

Meulin and Nepeta likely smell different from each other. Nepeta spends her time slaughtering animals and covering the walls in their blood. There is a high chance that she smells slightly of blood or possibly rot depending on how methodical her hygiene is. Cats also have a specific smell to them, and this is something that she might share with Meulin.

Aranea and Aradia I expect to smell pretty neutral.

Terezi probably smells strange due to the synesthesia but I'm not sure in what way it would be strange. But she doesn't perceive things the same way.

I don't know what to make of Damara other than smelling Asian. Asian households have a specific smell to them.

Porrim is the hottest troll. She and Kanaya probably smell the best. They seem to have enough taste and decorum to use fragrances in subtle ways, maybe even mix them. I dislike strong perfume...in fact I dislike most perfumes, period, but I still think they'd smell the best. Then again I'm biased towards Porrim.

Is phallophobia even a word?

Anyway, take heed, deviants. I posted a piece called "Arch of Flesh" in which my member was semi-erect and formed an arch over my body as I laid in bed. However, someone reported it, and unfortunately, it was taken down. Now, I'm assuming that this was a case of someone using "report" as a "dislike" button, but that's besides the point.

I messaged DA about it, as I had followed all the rules (at least, the rules as made clear at the time of this posting). They read:

You prohibit the submission of 'pornographic imagery'; what do you consider this to be?

When we mention 'pornographic content' in our policies we are specifically referring to specific subjects which we will clarify below.

We apologize if the descriptions below are slightly graphic.

The following contents are considered unacceptable for submission in either visual art or literature form and will be subjected to immediate removal without notice.

• Masturbation
Hands should not come into contact with genitalia in a manner which is clearly a display of fondling or masturbation.

• Sexual Intercourse.
Subjects should not be depicted in a clear display of sexual intercourse. This includes depictions of sexual penetration, oral to genital contact, genital to anal contact, and oral to anal contact without exception. Some depictions of same sex genital to genital contact and some depictions of oral to breast contact might qualify under this guideline as adjudicated by staff but not all will be considered an automatic violation of policy.

• Vaginal, Penile or Anal Penetration
This includes depictions of any object being inserted into the vagina, penis or anus.

• Sexual body fluids (actual or simulated).
There should be no depiction of semen or vaginal lubricants.

• Erections.
There should be no use of imagery depicting a male erection, however there may be exceptions granted to illustrations created for legitimate medical or educational purposes.

• Vaginal or Anal Spreading
Female subjects should not be depicted with their labia spread or parted in any manner by hand or manipulated open or parted by any other artificial means or object. Neither sex should show the anus manually opened in a similar fashion.

• Adult oriented (sexual) toys.
"Adult toys" consisting of dildos, strap-ons, vibrators, and similar items which are crafted to realistically represent a phallus or "receptive" vagina are not allowed. Items and devices which do not depict a male or female organ in a realistic fashion will be reviewed on a case-by-case basis for acceptability in a submission.

Submissions which are judged to be in violation of these guidelines will be removed without prior warning. Users found submitting such content may have their account banned or suspended without warning.Also be aware that we prohibit providing any outside link to another website which provides access to the material described above.

Those of you who had a chance to see the piece know what it displayed. I did not violate any of the rules as shown here. However, it was explained to me that because my penis was engorged enough to lift the glans about a centimeter from my body, that's where it becomes DA prohibited. This was not made clear in the rules. So, take note, guys. No self-supporting penises.

And this brings to light again my earlier post about how paranoid DA and our culture is about sexual themes. And DA especially with its illogical standards; were I to go out and cut a nun in half with a chainsaw and photograph it, that would be considered art. If I posted a drawing of someone shooting people, that's just dandy. Whereas my cock's crown, lifting from my stomach so little that it was still touching the hairs, is a violation. Anyone ever see Zardoz? The gun is good! The penis is evil! [link] Sorry, best clip I could find.

The same principle applies to our culture, however. Everyday on TV they show brutality and violence, yet something like a boob being flashed by mistake gets national attention. Vaginas corrupt our youth into demons. Penises turn our innocent children into hydralisks.

As I posted my commentary on this sort of subject earlier before anything got deleted, I feel it's clear that I'm not taking this as a personal affront. I politely thanked the rep for explaining it to me. But at the very, VERY least it should be clear in the rules, even though the rules make no sense.

Anyway, just wanted to get that out of my system. It's kind of frustrating. I thought it was a good picture.